Brooklyn Boy

I finally landed my first "New York date" ... sooo it wasn't quite in New York, New York and the "date" was really just more like me asking a guy to go out for drinks... but before I skip ahead to the date or call it what you will, let me recap the lead up to it. It was my good friend Naomi's birthday. Having just moved to New York around the same time I did, we in true fashion celebrated her first birthday in the city. It was during these festivities that I met McLovin. Admittedly, he didn't initially catch my attention and it was after some time had elapsed waiting on someone cute to come along that I decided to take McLovin up on his offer to dance. Sure enough by the end of the night he'd asked for my digits. I initially hesitated but ultimately gave in, reasoning he was a nice enough and this was what it was all about - getting back in the game. As I typed my number into his phone I thought what the hell, I really REALLY have nothing to lose.

After two weeks of flexting I decided to journey to a world unknown - BROOKLYN. Looking back I wish someone would have told me it was literally a world away because after two hours of hoping on and off subways, I was not impressed - to say the least. I couldn't help think that McLovin' as the guy should have offered to come see me considering it was late and I had no clue how far, let alone where his house was. Besides the island of Manahatan beats Brooklyn, hands down - it's New York CITY for a reason. Despite my initial premonitions of how much the date was going to suck, I decided to chalk my wallowing up. I'd already come all this way, might as well make the most of it... Also if I didn't give Brooklyn a shot, I'd be guilty of turning into a snobby 'the world revolves around our tiny island' New Yorker stereotype.

When I finally met up with McLovin, we headed to a bar near his house. After only a couple of drinks, we decided to head to his apartment (yes I know - what the heck was I thinking... clearly I wasn't). His apartment I have to admit though; was nicer then I expected and impressively well kept for a guy. True to his nature to set the mood McLovin decided to put on some music lol - which I initially found super corny! But I soon changed my mind and was left rather impressed with his very on point bossa nova/acid jazz playlist. The cliche's didn't end there though as he poured me a glass of some gin lemonade concoction which filled to the jar brim seemed to be pre-pared and awaiting my arrival (oh the subtly lol). 

Cautiously and slowly sipping, I watched him consume his glass first. Temple University's Wellness Resource Center has undoubtedly thoroughly succeeding in making this little foreigner paranoid about date rape because it took me almost an hour to finish my drink. As soon as McLovin passed my acid test, I got to work on getting the ball rolling. After some pointless light conversation and playful banter from my end which seemed to go unnoticed, I grew tired of talking. Before long the room grew awkwardo and in a sad attempt to make things a little lose again, I asked to see a movie... Big mistake. 

We watched the movie from start to finish. And even though I'll admit it was a funny movie and I enjoyed watching it with him, after a night of waiting for McLovin to make his move I was officially sleepy and ready to make my way back to the main island. It was at this point McLovin decided to lay his mack game on me... pulling out the THE ARM RUB! move. After 20 minutes of lying in his arms; having my right arm rubbed to complete numbness, I was definitely ready to go. So I told him I really have to leave to which he responded hastily and hurriedly with a kiss... not just any kiss THE WORST kiss. 

The kiss was all wrong: the timing, the motion, the weird under chin caresses and the tongue and saliva control (or lack of it) - the whole thing was just super uncomfortable. I'm talking about kissing your brother weirdness and grossness all in one. Believe it or not, it got even better (worse for me) when he tried to unhook my bra and failed horrible... When he asked me to take off my bra I was officially done, like 'yeahhhh nahhhh' lol ain't nobody! got time for that. As luck with have it I was saved by the arrival of his roommate because I don't think I could have left that apartment any sooner. Sure enough I left Brooklyn boy with a 'I'll call you' and Brooklyn with a 'see you around.'

XO Evie